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Frank & Funny Cards


FF BIRTHDAY - A little health tip for your birthday ...
Inside: I heard a banana a day is a good way to help keep our colon clean. Turns out you're supposed to eat them. - Dwight York
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
4721
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FF BIRTHDAY - Birthdays are like glasses of wine.
Inside: We should have a lot of them. Happy birthday! - Danny Johnson.
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
7257
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FF BIRTHDAY - Every time you have a birthday...
Inside: I feel old. - David Cornel
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
5138
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FF BIRTHDAY - For your birthday I bought you a goldfish from the pet store.
Inside: I know aquariums can be a pain so I left it at the pet store. You can visit anytime. He's the orange one. - David Crowe
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
4734
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FF BIRTHDAY - For your birthday, I was going to make you a list of all the benefits of growing older.
Inside: But, by the time I found my glasses, I forgot what I was doing. - Art Krug
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4719
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday ...
Inside: And so forth. - Tom Rhodes
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4733
Currently Out of Stock.
In the process of being reprinted.


FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday! For your eyes only!
Inside: Do me a favor. I couldn't think of anything to write, so please pretend that you're reading something really touching, maybe even wipe away a tear, and then look at me and say, "That is so beautiful. I didn't know you could write like that." Then if anyone asks to see the card, refuse, and tell them it was just too personal. Thanks, I owe you one. - Elliott Maxx
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4723
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FF BIRTHDAY - I read that satori is a state of near-enlightenment when your mind is completely devoid of thoughts.
Inside: All this time you thought you were having "senior moments." It turns out you're a Zen master! Happy Birthday! Elliot Maxx
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4722
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FF BIRTHDAY - I wanted to wish you a happy birthday this year ... but my genie only gave me three wishes, and I really needed a bowl of cereal and a coffee this morning.
Inside: I was also out of milk. - Seaton Kay-Smith
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
7264
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FF BIRTHDAY - LIttle girls know something that adults have forgotten:
Inside: Anyone, and I mean anyone, can wear a crown if they want to. Happy Birthday. - David Crowe
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
5139
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FF BIRTHDAY - The golden rule says to love others as you love yourself ...
Inside: But you can't just walk around touching people like that. Enjoy your birthday (in moderation). - Robert Hawkins
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4725
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FF BIRTHDAY - Those who say you can't have your cake and eat it too ...
Inside: Clearly have no idea how to work a fork. Happy birthday!
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6219
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FF BIRTHDAY - When we were growing up, I thought we'd get older and wiser.
Inside: One out of two aint bad. Happy birthday. - Scott Losse
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
7269
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FF BIRTHDAY - You're one year older.
Inside: You're getting closer and closer to the age where a life sentence isn't really that big of a threat. - Spencer Dobson
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5346
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FF BIRTHDAY - Young people's bodies naturally produce hope and enthusiasm, but those endorphins fade as they grow older.
Inside: Luckily for us, there's still booze.  Happy birthday! - Mat Alano-Martin
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5926
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - I know this might not be as gratifying as a 'like' on Facebook ...
Inside: But congratulations anyway!
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6209
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - Why don't you stop overachieving ...
Inside: And settle into the warm embrace of mediocrity like the rest of us? - Art Krug
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4717
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FF ENCOURAGEMENT - Go for it! And if you ever wonder where to begin, just remember a journey of a thousand miles begins with ...
Inside: A trip to the bathroom. - Bill Mihalic
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6550
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FF ENCOURAGEMENT - Never give up on your dreams.
Inside: Except the one about super powers - that one's not happening. - Paul Merrill
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4762
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Fitness tip: Wear workout clothes to the bakery.
Inside: So when people see you eating a scone, it looks like you earned it. - Joe Larson
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5054
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Some people look at the glass and say it's half full. Others look at the glass and say it's half empty.
Inside: You look at the glass and say, "Can't anyone pick up after themselves around here?" - Elliot Maxx
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4750
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FF FRIENDSHIP - You know what pairs really well with chardonnay?
Inside: Me. - Danielle Koenig
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
7270
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FF GET WELL - Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Or is it good? I think it's well.
Inside: Get better soon so I can stop questioning my grammar. - Patti Vasquez
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5918
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Anyone who said the sexes were created equal ...
Inside: Has never worked in an office with one thermostat. - Matt Wohlfarth
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
7256
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I bought a free-range chicken. You know, the kind that runs free and gets pampered like a family pet, right up until the day they kill it.
Inside: It tasted surprised. - Art Krug
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4739
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I eat bacon every day. Sometimes 3 times a day.
Inside: It's delicious. And it helps keep my mind off these weird chest pains I keep having. - Andy Forrester
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5056
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I tried meditation.
Inside: I think I was doing it wrong. My meditation was, "Ohhhhmmmm my God, I've got so much to do I can't believe I am sitting here wasting time breathing instead of picking up my dry cleaning and making flight plans for next week and hey my chest hurts maybe I should see a doctor ... - Art Krug
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4740
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Never lie about passing gas.
Inside: If you do, people might think that's your regular smell. - Elliot Maxx
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4746
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Sometimes I start to think life would be easier if I were a house cat ...
Inside: Still like being human. - Mikey Scott
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5917
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - The veterinarian told me I had to put down the cat.
Inside: So I went home and told the cat, "You're fat and you're stupid." - Adam Gropman
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5069
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - They say a great way to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a mirror.
Inside: That doesn't work, by the way. And, consequently, I'm no longer welcome at Target. - Andy Forrester
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4741
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - What if dolphins aren't leaping out of the water because they're happy?
Inside: What if theyr'e doing it because they hate water? - Craig Fay
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5923
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FF NEW BABY - Congrats! You made a person!
Inside: I can't even make lasagna.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5776
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FF NEW BABY - Cutting the cord in the delivery room and seeing the new baby is wonderful ...
Inside: But remember, once you cut th tags off those things, you can't take them back. Congrats. - Earl Musick.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
7260
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FF THANK YOU - Are you igneous, metamorhpic or sedimentary?
Inside: All I know is you rock! - DeAnne Smith
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6337
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FF THANK YOU - I feel like if the Zombie Apocolypse happened and I got turned into a Zombie and you didn't, you're the kind of friend that would lock me in a pit in his basement and feed me rats.
Inside: Thanks
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
5143
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FF THANK YOU - In some cultures, people show their thanks by giving their most prized possession.
Inside: I'm not from that culture. Thanks anyway. - Robert Mac
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4936
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FF THANK YOU - In this day and age of technology and social media, we rarely take the time to truly express our feelings of appreciation to those who make a difference in our lives. So...
Inside: #props - Kermet Apio
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5916
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FF THANK YOU - Things that totally suck: Vacuums. Straws. Anteaters.
Inside: Things that don't totally suck: You. Thank You!
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6218
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