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Frank & Funny Cards




FF BIRTHDAY - A little health tip for your birthday ...
Inside: I heard a banana a day is a good way to help keep our colon clean. Turns out you're supposed to eat them. - Dwight York
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Item No:
4721
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FF BIRTHDAY - Every time you have a birthday...
Inside: I feel old. - David Cornel
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Item No:
5138
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FF BIRTHDAY - For your birthday I bought you a goldfish from the pet store.
Inside: I know aquariums can be a pain so I left it at the pet store. You can visit anytime. He's the orange one. - David Crowe
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Item No:
4734
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FF BIRTHDAY - For your birthday, I was going to make you a list of all the benefits of growing older.
Inside: But, by the time I found my glasses, I forgot what I was doing. - Art Krug
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Item No:
4719
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday ...
Inside: And so forth. - Tom Rhodes
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
4733
Currently Out of Stock.
In the process of being reprinted.


FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday! For your eyes only!
Inside: Do me a favor. I couldn't think of anything to write, so please pretend that you're reading something really touching, maybe even wipe away a tear, and then look at me and say, "That is so beautiful. I didn't know you could write like that." Then if anyone asks to see the card, refuse, and tell them it was just too personal. Thanks, I owe you one. - Elliott Maxx
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Item No:
4723
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FF BIRTHDAY - I read that satori is a state of near-enlightenment when your mind is completely devoid of thoughts.
Inside: All this time you thought you were having "senior moments." It turns out you're a Zen master! Happy Birthday! Elliot Maxx
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Item No:
4722
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FF BIRTHDAY - LIttle girls know something that adults have forgotten:
Inside: Anyone, and I mean anyone, can wear a crown if they want to. Happy Birthday. - David Crowe
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Item No:
5139
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FF BIRTHDAY - The golden rule says to love others as you love yourself ...
Inside: But you can't just walk around touching people like that. Enjoy your birthday (in moderation). - Robert Hawkins
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Item No:
4725
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FF BIRTHDAY - Those who say you can't have your cake and eat it too ...
Inside: Clearly have no idea how to work a fork. Happy birthday!
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Item No:
6219
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FF BIRTHDAY - Young people's bodies naturally produce hope and enthusiasm, but those endorphins fade as they grow older.
Inside: Luckily for us, there's still booze.  Happy birthday! - Mat Alano-Martin
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Item No:
5926
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - I know this might not be as gratifying as a 'like' on Facebook ...
Inside: But congratulations anyway!
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
6209
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - Why don't you stop overachieving ...
Inside: And settle into the warm embrace of mediocrity like the rest of us? - Art Krug
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Item No:
4717
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FF ENCOURAGEMENT - Never give up on your dreams.
Inside: Except the one about super powers - that one's not happening. - Paul Merrill
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Item No:
4762
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FF ENCOURAGEMENT - Sometimes you unload the dishwasher halfway before discovering it's dirty ...
Inside: And you keep going because you're no quitter.
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Item No:
5786
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Fitness tip: Wear workout clothes to the bakery.
Inside: So when people see you eating a scone, it looks like you earned it. - Joe Larson
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
5054
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FF FRIENDSHIP - I love watching reality shows ...
Inside: When I compare our lives with theirs, I suddenly think, "My God! We should be wearing capes! We're awesome!" - Darlene Westgor
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Item No:
4756
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FF FRIENDSHIP - I'm bored by my own problems.
Inside: Call me with yours. - Jackie Kashian
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
5133
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FF FRIENDSHIP - People who have never had a glass of wine before noon...
Inside: probably procrastinate in other areas of their life too. - David Crowe
Price:
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Item No:
5344
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Some people look at the glass and say it's half full. Others look at the glass and say it's half empty.
Inside: You look at the glass and say, "Can't anyone pick up after themselves around here?" - Elliot Maxx
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Item No:
4750
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FF FRIENDSHIP - You are my iPhone charger.
Inside: Without you, I panic and worry I'll be bored forever. - Yogi Paliwal
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Item No:
5345
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FF FRIENDSHIP - You are wonderful, stupendous, remarkable, beautiful.
Inside: And a bunch of other words from my thesaurus. - David Cornel
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5925
Currently Out of Stock.
In the process of being reprinted.


FF FRIENDSHIP - You may be socially awkward,
Inside: But you're my kind of socially awkward. - Craig Fay
Price:
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Item No:
5256
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FF GET WELL - Laughter is the best medicine ...
Inside: Unless you have diarrhea. - Elliot Maxx
Price:
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Item No:
4757
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FF GET WELL - Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Or is it good? I think it's well.
Inside: Get better soon so I can stop questioning my grammar. - Patti Vasquez
Price:
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Item No:
5918
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Dogs have 95% fewer germs in their mouths than people do.
Inside: But all the ones they have are from their butt.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5778
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I bought a free-range chicken. You know, the kind that runs free and gets pampered like a family pet, right up until the day they kill it.
Inside: It tasted surprised. - Art Krug
Price:
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Item No:
4739
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I eat bacon every day. Sometimes 3 times a day.
Inside: It's delicious. And it helps keep my mind off these weird chest pains I keep having. - Andy Forrester
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5056
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I tried meditation.
Inside: I think I was doing it wrong. My meditation was, "Ohhhhmmmm my God, I've got so much to do I can't believe I am sitting here wasting time breathing instead of picking up my dry cleaning and making flight plans for next week and hey my chest hurts maybe I should see a doctor ... - Art Krug
Price:
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Item No:
4740
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I'm not saying you're smarter than me, but ...
Inside: I once spilled laundry detergent on my shirt and thought, "How do I wash this out?"
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Item No:
5783
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Never lie about passing gas.
Inside: If you do, people might think that's your regular smell. - Elliot Maxx
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4746
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Sometimes I start to think life would be easier if I were a house cat ...
Inside: Still like being human. - Mikey Scott
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5917
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - The veterinarian told me I had to put down the cat.
Inside: So I went home and told the cat, "You're fat and you're stupid." - Adam Gropman
Price:
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Item No:
5069
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - What if dolphins aren't leaping out of the water because they're happy?
Inside: What if theyr'e doing it because they hate water? - Craig Fay
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5923
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FF NEW BABY - Congrats! You made a person!
Inside: I can't even make lasagna.
Price:
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Item No:
5776
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FF THANK YOU - In some cultures, people show their thanks by giving their most prized possession.
Inside: I'm not from that culture. Thanks anyway. - Robert Mac
Price:
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Item No:
4936
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FF THANK YOU - In this day and age of technology and social media, we rarely take the time to truly express our feelings of appreciation to those who make a difference in our lives. So...
Inside: #props - Kermet Apio
Price:
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Item No:
5916
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FF THANK YOU - Things that totally suck: Vacuums. Straws. Anteaters.
Inside: Things that don't totally suck: You. Thank You!
Price:
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Item No:
6218
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